I don’t know about all of you out there reading this, but I’ve had my fair share of awful experiences and relationships in my life and I’m really over it. I’m not even concerned whether or not I’ll actually find love or be able to love again. And I’m okay with that today and I hope those of you reading are at that point or on your way to that.
For some reason, people (including myself), tend to complicate most, if not all relationships in our lives, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because it’s one aspect of life we have some control over. If we didn’t complicate the relationships in our lives, how much more peace and love would there be instead of cruelty, fighting, and anger?
Regardless of the reasons we may complicate life, we have to come to the understanding that life happens and usually not on our terms. But one thing we can all do to simplify life and our relationships to the best of our ability is to be true to who we are. Another thing we can do is put the rules laid out in here to practice and put them in the little toolbox for life.
Don’t be so hung up on the fairytale wedding you dreamed of having since you were a kid. There is so much more beauty to life than one night. Being overly focused on that increases the chance that you’ll settle for less than you deserve.
Try not to move so quickly. Stop and take a breath of fresh air. Smell the flowers around you. Look at how fast others are moving. We are always in such a rush to get somewhere that we miss moments that could turn into memories if we allow ourselves to.
Laugh. Life is hard and at times we find it near impossible to laugh. But we need to realize that there are things to laugh at wherever we go. Try it. Go people watch for an hour and tell me someone or something didn’t make you laugh. If you tell me you didn’t laugh, I won’t believe it!
Learn from the experiences in your life. They happen for a reason no matter how unfair it seems. Same goes for the good experiences as well. If you’re not learning something from things you go through throughout life, you’re impairing your ability to grow and change in an ever-changing world.
Be honest. Be truthful. Haven’t we learned that the truth does eventually come out anyway? For the most part, the truth will come out and it’s honestly easier to tell the truth than keep up with a lie or sometimes multiple lies. We all deserve to have people in our lives who are honest with us about the good and the bad. I know I don’t want someone telling me I look good in a dress when really, it’s too big or small for me. Just saying.
Learn to love yourself. Take the time to get to know who you are and what your likes and dislikes are. Be content with yourself. Be comfortable with yourself in your own skin. Love yourself enough to be happy with you and only you. You are independent when you can sit alone, reading or watching Netflix and being content and happy right where you are.
Listen. Listen to what people are saying with their words and observe what their nonverbal behaviors are saying. Sometimes people aren’t comfortable saying certain things or may just need someone to vent to but no matter what, listen and observe. People tell you a lot with their nonverbal cues and behaviors.
These are some basic rules in life that I wish I knew before hitting my 30s. Not saying my life would have been better than it is currently but I would have cherished the moments and memories more than I did when they happened. I wouldn’t have taken life so seriously all the time and taken the time to laugh and be at peace with myself.
Sure, some of us have had support from family or friends and I’m sure there are some who, unfortunately, had minimal or no support. I am sorry you had to endure life’s struggles alone. But remember you are worth it and you’re still here and managed to make it through another day.
Through my ups and downs in life, I’ve come to realize that we are much, much stronger than we give ourselves credit for because you know what? Do you remember that person who took your heart and shattered it to pieces? I’m sure you do. And who do you think carried through each day since then? YOU. Because that’s who you will always need at the beginning and end of each day.