There are times in our lives when we don’t trust God enough with the relationships we hold on to tightly. And when He asks us to surrender something to him, our minds get filled with questions.
“Why did I have to meet him if he’s not the one?”
“Why do I have to go through this pain?”
When we get into a relationship it’s often tempting to cling tighter to our “significant other” than we do to Jesus Christ. We think that God can never bring the person back again to us and we think that God cannot write our story as much as we are able to.
When the gaze of our soul does not remain fixed upon Jesus Christ, good desires such as having a godly love story can form into unhealthy ideals before we realize what has happened. God-given longing for marriage can become an obsessive need to find a guy, and a healthy love story can quickly become an idol in our heart. Often, the biggest threats to seeking Christ with an undivided heart are not of sinful things, but good and God-given desires that slowly start to claim too much of our focus and affection. But again, our security and identity must come first and foremost from Jesus Christ rather than from a relationship.
How can you tell whether you are clinging too tightly to an earthly relationship or romantic dream? Here are a few warning signs:
You can’t imagine giving it up.
You have thoughts such as: “If I lost this relationship, I’d be miserable and depressed,” or “If I don’t get married, life won’t be worth living.”
You spend more time and energy on that area than you do on your relationship with Christ.
Maybe you spend hours each week trying to find the right guy or being with that guy, but only ten minutes in prayer or in studying God’s Word. Or maybe you invest the majority of your time and energy into a relationship (or the pursuit of one) and have little time left over to seek Christ or share Him with others. As much as we don’t like to admit it, the areas that claim the majority of our spare time are those that have the biggest hold on our hearts.
You find more delight and happiness in that area of your life than you do in your relationship with Christ.
It’s not wrong if a human love story brings us a certain level of comfort or happiness. But Jesus must always remain our source of deepest satisfaction. A great way to determine whether you are finding your fulfillment in Christ is to ask yourself the question, “If this relationship or romantic dream were suddenly stripped away from me, would Jesus be enough?”
God can write your love story.
God is the author, designer, and maker of our lives. He is the author of love and romance. He created everything. I totally believe that the best love story you can ever have has to be written by God. The proof of a God-written love story is the impossibility of it apart from Him.
A God-written love story must glorify Him and will reflect His mighty hand. It must bless other people in the sense that they realize it has to be God.
If a romantic relationship (or the hope of one) has claimed more of your affection and focus than Jesus Christ, ask God to change your heart. Freshly surrender this area of your life to Him, and remember where the deepest source of fulfillment is truly found: in Him! Remember, there is no better place for your most precious dreams than at the nail-scarred feet that were pierced for you.