What is an INFJ?
INFJ is a personality type which is characterized by the Myers Briggs Personality archetypes. It is extremely rare and comprises 1% of the entire population. The initials stand for the following: introverted, intuitive, feeling and judgment.
If you have been the “odd one” from a young age, you probably belong to this rare personality type. You have always felt different from the people around you. You might have plenty of friends, but you never felt like you truly fit in. there were times you faked being more like them so they would accept you.
Getting to know the real you in surely a Herculean task since you can be both incredibly shy, quiet, and withdrawn, as well as charming, fun, and hilarious. It depends on the mood and the situation, most of all the kind of people you are with.
What is “the door slam”?
The door slam is when an INFJ suddenly cuts off all contact with someone. It might be a close friend, partner, coworker, or family member. INFJs are the typical “all or nothing” kind of people. So if they are treated terribly for a long time, they will tolerate for a while before severing all ties. They will block all numbers, social media links, not cross the same path and in extreme cases, move without a definite address. Removing someone from their life is a self-protective measure to stop the emotional pain.
Why An INFJ Removes People from their Lives with the Unpopular “Door Slam”
INFJs are good with people and are known for their characteristic feature of tolerance.
Some people go on giving chances to those who let them down, INFJs belong to that rare category. They are genuinely compassionate, empathetic, and forgiving souls. They believe in the iconic dialogue “hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things; and no good thing ever dies.”
Some of them may also hope that the slamming of the door will result in a magical realization in the other person and they would value the former. INFJs do not revel in drama or ending on a bitter note. The door slam is the last straw, a final chance for the other person to understand and notice.
INFJs can foresee the loss of connection with a person and it makes them mournful.
Often we cherish the idea of a person, build castles in the air without seeing things as they are. Then in a moment of epiphany, it dawns upon us that what we had actually did not exist. It is a common thing with introverts — it means that they internally process much of what goes on around them. They do not react or let loose.
If you pay attention, you will be able to see the red flags which INFJs show before the door slam. They make it obvious that they are not happy with a kind of behavior or find a certain action unacceptable. The fallout is a result of a prolonged internal mourning because they realize the other person involved is not willing to change one bit.
INFJs don’t give up easily but once they are done, they are done.
They Feel Liberated!
INFJs are very emotional; they tend to prepare themselves mentally before taking the final step. This is the reason behind them moving on swiftly. They do not like to spell out things and expect that someone who deeply cares for them will make efforts to show the same. They want perfect understanding in a romantic relationship more than anything else. Yes, they seem to be complicated people, but if you get close, you’ll see their needs are actually quite simple.
They are highly intuitive and read situations in a good way. What they usually forget in that not everyone has such abilities. They are vocal about why they feel the way that they do before they opt out. This is why there are no hard feelings in the end or no open ends left to be sorted. INFJs evaluate whether they devote too much time and energy to those people that are not on the same page as them. They will endure every difficulty if they see that someone hold the relationship in the same high regard.
Door slam sounds severe but not to forget, INFJs are Very down to earth and forgive easily.
They are usually not very rigid. If they show you the door, they can also let you in, provided you change your behavior. INFJs will never step into the same mess because they know the end very well and do not want to get hurt all over again. Sometimes, the door slam is more of a mental make-up rather than an action. They remain in touch with the “door slam” person; the connection though not severed is changed nonetheless.
They will no longer put in their hundred percent in the relationship and will remain at a safe distance. They have a hard time trusting the person and probably the relationship will never be the same. If they decide to embrace you, you are important. Whether the slam was done in haste and fury, or calmly and rationally plays a major role here. They are not Mr. Darcy saying “My good opinion once lost is lost forever”, so if you want to be in their lives, you have to make efforts.
They are the first ones to stand up for others and delve deep into their worries; it is really not too much for them to seek patience and understanding.