Time for some revenge?
Being cheated on is one of the worst forms of betrayal. And while you can’t change that it happened, you can control your reaction to it.
Everyone is different, and each situation requires its own level of crazy revenge plotting.
Whether you want to take the subtle subtweeting approach or if you’re feelin’ like getting all Jazmine Sullivan and bustin’ the windows out his car, getting revenge can feel pretty damn good.
If you’re looking for ideas (or you just want do a little fantasizing), here’s how each zodiac sign handles getting cheated on:
Aries: shout your betrayal from a mountain top
You hold honesty and truth to a very high standard, and anyone who messes with that can expect some serious damage. An Aries will tell your mom, call your boss and write a novel detailing your assholery. Beware.
Taurus: will slowly poison you over time
If you hurt a Taurus, they’ll want to see you suffer. A sign known for holding on to grudges, they’re more likely in create a long-term revenge plan — think “John Tucker Must Die” estrogen pills — that’ll you never suspect.
Gemini: will literally break all your shit
In a fit of rage, a Gemini will enact their revenge on your personal belongings. Keep anything of high value away from a Gemini at this time, because once they’ve been betrayed their tornado of destruction cannot be stopped.
Cancer: will gather a posse to guilt trip the hell out of you
If you already feel terrible about cheating, you’re about to feel worse. A Cancer won’t hesitate to group text your mom, best friends, former soccer coach and anyone who ever said you were a good person, to tell them what a disappointment you are.
Leo: will not think twice about blackmailing you
Cheating on a Leo will literally ruin your life because they will use to to take all the power. From keeping the dog to going on a shopping spree with your credit card, a Leo knows how to use this injustice to their own advantage.
Virgo: will stalk your every move until they decide to enact revenge
At first, a Virgo might feel slightly guilty and want to know what they did to make you cheat. But once they see something they can’t unsee, you’ll be labeled a total asshole forever and they’ll probably pawn your favorite watch.
Libra: will get way too much enjoyment out of publicly humiliating you
After the initial shock is over, a Libra will find any and every way to make you squirm. This sign is all about having fun, and this time it’s at your expense.
Scorpio: will actually kill you
At first you’ll be confusingly relieved because your Scorpio seems perfectly fine with it — but that’s only because she’s secretly plotting the perfect crime.
Sagittarius: will never, ever talk to you again
There will be no emotional conversations with this sign. Rather than let you see them cry, a Sagittarius will just get up and leave. And you can bet that you’ll never hear from them again.
Capricorn: will go on with their life pretending you never existed
This sign does not want to give you any more power over their life and their happiness. Rather than dwell on the past, a Capricorn will get their revenge by living their best life and making sure you know that you no longer matter.
Aquarius: will go a little crazy
You will feel the wrath of an Aquarius, but only for a short time. This sign will surely freak out once they know what you’ve done, but after they let out their emotions, they’ll have no problem walking away.
Pisces: will cry for a few days, wreck your car and then get on with their lives
This super emotional sign will definitely have a week long sobfest over the infidelity. But after a Pisces goes from sad to angry enough to do some permanent damage, they’ll act like the whole thing never happened.