Do you ever think about the night where we sat in your car for hours talking?
It was the night that you messaged me saying you were scared and needed to get out of your house. You asked me if I could come be with you, of course, I said yes, and we went anywhere but your home.
That night we talked about everything we had overcome, we talked about what we were going through, and how scared we were for the future. We talked about things we had never talked to anyone else about, all the things that had haunted us from our past and terrified us about our future.
Sometimes I think about that night, I think about laying there with you and just looking at you and smiling.
I remember it so vividly; you asked me why I was smiling. I couldn’t help it though, as I looked at you I couldn’t help but smile. But I told you it was too embarrassing to tell you why.
You wouldn’t let it go though, you never would take “I don’t know” for an answer if you knew I did know why.
So, I told you I was smiling because I couldn’t help it because being there, at that moment, just felt right. So we laid there, till 4 a.m., and I just looked at you as you talked, as you told me about what you were going through and why you were hurting.
You played your favorite songs and even sang a few of them to me. We laughed and enjoyed the night, it was almost like we were the only two in the world and nothing else mattered.
We talked a lot that night, we talked about the things that we had gone through and how happy we wanted to be. We talked about the hope we had for the future and how we would always be there for each other. Do you remember that?
Do you remember when I told you that I would always be here for you, and when you told me the same thing?
The difference was, I meant it. Because when I needed you to be here for me, in my darkest hour, you got angry with me and left, you ran from the problem.
I wish I could have done the same, I wish I could have run from the problem, but I couldn’t…I can’t. I have no choice but to deal with it on my own now because you are the only one that knows the truth about it, even to this day, no one but you knows.
But when we were together nothing else mattered, because when we were together it was as if we were the only two in the world. When we were together, it was like all our worries and stresses disappeared.
Do you remember that feeling?
Sometimes I still think about that night, and sometimes I wonder if you do too.