The other night, I was drinking with a longtime friend of mine by the name of Buddy*.
Buddy and I had known each other for years, and often had moments where we weren’t speaking to one another due to drama within our circle of friends.
I always thought I’d end up running into Buddy every other day, but he had texted me that he was moving to California soon.
He had asked to see me one last time before he took the plane out to LA. I agreed.
“Ossiana, there’s been something I wanted to say,” he said as we sipped merlot in his apartment.
“If it’s about the Merlot, I think we probably could have gotten a cabernet at a better quality for the same price,” I said, laughing.
“I love you,” he said.
“What?” I asked incredulously.
It was at this point that he told me that he had very strong feelings for quite some time.
He had crushed on me for years and never could figure out how to tell me until he was actually leaving the East Coast.
It hurt because we could have been an item for years and now he was going away.
At that moment, I felt robbed of a happy ending that would have been quite ideal back in the day.
Looking back, I realized there were some signs I should have picked up on.
Though I have given up on finding love, you shouldn’t follow my footsteps.
What you should do is keep an eye out around guys who do things like these, because they may actually be in love with you.
1. It always seems like he has something more he wants to say
More often than not, guys know they want to tell you how they feel but they often worry that they can’t.
Whether it’s because you’re dating his friend or because he’s just terrified of admitting feelings, it’s shocking how many guys out there will just bottle it up because they feel like they just can’t say something.
If your gut says he wants to say more, chances are he does.
2. He seems like he’s scared to tell you his true feelings about random subjects
You’d be surprised at how many guys will also turn into total doormats around girls they like.
If he regularly rolls over or backpedals, he’s way more into you than he lets on.
3. He seems to make a point out of being super chivalrous
When a guy goes out of his way to treat you delicately, it’s usually for a special reason.
If he regularly buys you drinks but doesn’t do the same for other guys, he might see you as more than just a friend.
4. When other girls are around him in your presence, he makes a point of distancing himself from them
Guys will often make a point of showing who they want to be with, even if girls are already all over them.
With Buddy, he went so far as to tell me that he didn’t really like his then-girlfriend very much.
5. When you two talk over the phone, there’s always a long pause
This goes hand in hand with the whole “wanting to say more” thing.
When a guy is interested in you but feels like he has no chance, he often won’t know what to say.
Ergo, he’ll start having awkward pauses.
6. He goes full Papa Bear on you
If a guy is into you, there’s a very high chance that he’ll get protective or even a bit possessive of you.
If you notice that he regularly gets macho around other guys, he might end up confessing his feelings for you, Buddy-style.
7. He seems particularly hurt if you go on an anti-male rant around him
I will admit I’m very guilty of this one, particularly because I’m so badly burnt by dating men. And my rants are known for being scathing.
I know for a fact most guys will wither a bit hearing my honest-to-god opinion of their gender’s dating habits, but with Buddy, he would legitimately tear up.
The reason why is because hearing my rants often made him feel inadequate, too.
8. You get the feeling he’s trying to impress you
If someone has a crush on you, they will try to flaunt themselves around you.
I probably should have picked up on Buddy’s football playing braggadocio earlier, but retrospectively speaking, I totally see what’s up now.
9. Mutual friends point out that you two would be cute together
When this happened with me and Buddy, I was pretty oblivious to the fact that Buddy probably asked female friends for help. But, yes, if other female friends of his gently nudge you towards him, he may be really into you.
10. When you two are alone, he is clearly nervous
Whether it’s turning beet red and choking on words or just having verbal diarrhea, most of the time, girls will know when guys are nervous around them. Guys don’t get nervous from people they see as “just friends,” capiche?