The Power of “No”: Set Better Boundaries to Have a Better Life

“’No’ is a complete sentence.” ~Anne Lamott When I went to counseling for the first time, my therapist told me I needed better boundaries. I had no idea what he was talking about, and although the book he lent me on the subject helped a little, I still didn’t really get it. I tried here and there to integrate the few...

How to Respond to a Verbal Assault Without Losing Your Cool

“Often those that criticize others reveal what he himself lacks.” ~Shannon L. Adler I answer the phone. And then the yelling starts. The woman on the other end lets fly a barrage of abuse. She’s angry and upset and she’s taking it out on me. Because I haven’t sent her a text message for two days. She wants to know why I haven’t...

10 Important Psychological Concepts People Don’t Understand

Here’s an interesting thing about psychology: For the most part, everyone, regardless of their educational background, feels like an expert in the field. This is not true of, say, biochemistry, geochemical engineering, or astrophysics. As someone who both studies human psychology from a scientific standpoint for a living — and as a person who simply wants to understand what’s up...

Why Entitled People Will Disregard Rules That Others Follow

Now this is interesting — especially in today's culture: A new study has found that some people, who see themselves as special or entitled in some way that others are not, are more likely to disregard ordinary instructions or the usual “order” of things, which most others will accept and follow. Researchers who explored this topic found that the...

Five Depression Myths We Need to Stop Believing Today

Depression, like art, can never be adequately described in words alone, though Andrew Solomon (link is external) comes close in his memoir Noonday Demon: "I felt as though I had a physical need, of impossible urgency and discomfort, from which there was no release — as though I were constantly vomiting but had no mouth. My vision began to close....

The Neuroscience of Loneliness

Loneliness is an epidemic. We are going through times of profound social change, and the Internet and other new social technologies are huge drivers of this epidemic, allowing us to remain in touch with others without actually having to connect with them. Humans, like it or not, are social mammals. We need to interact with each other, and as a...

What Happens When You Rebel Against the Herd

You live, but are you living the way you want to live or the way others want you to live? You choose, but are your choices based on your own decisions or on the decisions imposed on you by society? You act, but are you acting out of your conditioning or out of your conscious will? Almost everywhere I look...

You Are The Universe: Transcending The Separate Self

A recognition of alliance is growing among people in diverse arenas of activism, whether political, social, or spiritual. The holistic acupuncturist and the sea turtle rescuer may not be able to explain the feeling, “We are serving the same thing,” but they are. Both are in service to an emerging Story of the People that is the defining mythology...

Where Our Biggest Regrets Come From

Stop for a moment and reflect on how you’ve lived your life up to this moment. Now imagine that you continue living pretty much the same way until you reach the age of 70 and look back upon your life. Would you be content with the way you’ve lived? When people are young, they usually don’t spend any of their...

How to Deal with Wage Slavery & Find Work You Love

As most of you may already know, my writings regularly touch on the issue of “wage slavery” – that is, the social phenomenon of being forced to carry out work in order to earn money. Concerning this, a reader recently sent me an email with the following message: Hi Sofo, Came across your blog last night and had a browse of...

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